Last week I officially moved into The Beaumont Studios, a vibrant artists’ collective in the heart of Vancouver’s Mount Pleasant neighbourhood. For at least the next year, this adorable pink room (which I had a lot of fun setting up lol) is where I’ll be working on my writing and illustration projects and connecting with others in Vancouver’s creative scene.
Having my own studio has been a dream of mine for a really long time, and I’m so happy that it’s come true at The Beaumont. It’s such a fun and inspiring environment, and I’m so, so, so excited to be there!
Why did I rent a studio?
If you’ve been following me for a while, then you already know that I’m trying to claw my way back from burnout.
Burnout is tricky, and it manifests itself in a lot of devious ways. Usually it sneaks up on you; a little exhaustion here, a bit of distraction there. At some point you notice that you’re irritated all the time, even by things you usually enjoy. And motivation? Yeah right. You do your best Mariah Carey impression as you insist, “I don’t know her”.
Of all these symptoms, it was the pervasive lack of motivation that hurt the most. Now, as someone with ADHD, I’m a regular rider of the (de)motivation struggle bus. Hell, I’ve got my struggle bus pass on lifetime auto-reload. But this was different. It wasn’t just hard to find motivation to do the things I love — it was impossible. I was uninspired and indifferent, especially when it came to my creative projects. I started to notice resentment building up whenever I sat down to write or draw, and it worried me. My creativity is deeply important to me, and the idea of falling out of love with it felt like I was falling out of love with myself.
I decided it was time to get my shit together. I wanted to be intentional about prioritizing my creative self, which for me meant making the choice to commit both time and space to my work. As much as I hate to admit it, the last few years of working from home have made it really hard to maintain any sense of work/life/creative balance. While I’m super lucky to have dedicated work space at home, the last thing I want to do after a long day of work is spend even more time in the room where I just finished putting in an eight or nine hour shift. I desperately wanted a space that I could dedicate to creativity. I wanted to get out of the damn house and maybe even connect with other creative people in the process.
It’s a big commitment
I’m going to be honest with you: making this decision was scary!
There were so many things to consider before I signed my lease. Is a studio a reasonable thing to spend money on? Would I have enough time to make use of the space? Could I justify having a studio when I already have a day job? Will the space help me accomplish my goals?
I went back and forth on these questions for a long time. Not to brag, but I’m really good at talking myself out of going after the things I want, especially when those things seem self-indulgent or impractical.
But here’s the thing: doing creative work is important to me. It’s what I love. It’s what I want to do with my time. I’ve worked super hard to get myself to a place in life where I can afford to invest in that which brings me joy. I have a partner who not only understands my creative passions, but who supports and encourages me in exploring them. If there was ever going to be a time to chase this dream of mine, this is it.
I think the thing I wrestled with the most was knowing that my creative projects don’t pay the bills. Sure, I make a bit of money from my fiction and art, but not enough to live off of. But the truth is, that’s okay. I’m not doing this to monetize my passions — I’m doing this to pursue my passions.
Creatives are often made to feel like the time and/or money we spend on our passions is wasteful unless we can guaranteed a return on our investments. For many of us, we end up looking for ways to monetize our work or chase after social media clout to justify those investments, leaving us with little time to pursue the projects that inspire us personally. No wonder so many of us are burned out.
Hustle culture isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. Though it’s not a revolutionary idea, I think a lot of us need to be reminded that it’s okay to do things for fun, without the added pressure of needing to turn a profit. Think of it this way: a person who loves golf can invest thousands of dollars on clubs, equipment, memberships, and green fees — not to mention the countless hours they spend on the course — and it’s not like we expect them to go pro. Why should it be any different for creatives?
I don’t know who needs to hear this (Yes I do: me.) but if permission is what you need to pursue your creative passions with wild abandon, here you go:
It’s okay to invest in your passions if for no other reason than because they make you happy.
And that, my friends, is why you can now find me at The Beaumont in Studio #14, 326 W 5th Avenue Vancouver.